It's Still Never Easy

Today I attended a funeral for a close family friend that's been living with my in-laws for the past 2 years. Her name was Stormy. She took the pictures at Scott's and my wedding, and she was a really great person. She was diagnosed with cancer not quite a month ago, and it spread so rapidly that the doctors couldn't keep up. She passed away on Monday, very early in the morning. Although we all sort of knew it was coming, you can never quite prepare yourself for losing someone you care about. The funeral was a small graveside service, and it was very sweet.

Sammy checking out a nearby grave marker


There were two children there ages 1 and 4. They got me really thinking about a lot. The one year old, named Sammy, kept staring and pointing, and we couldn't really ever figure out what he was pointing at, because when we'd look, there wasn't anything there. Then someone said, "I wonder what, or who he is looking at..." That struck a chord with me. It's definitely very likely that he was seeing something or someone that we couldn't see, with the veil being as thick as it is to us. But for someone so young, still so close to Heavenly Father, the veil isn't quite so thick. They say that the spirit world is right here, and I definitely believe that. Everytime he would point, he would smile, and I can't help but think that Stormy was there.



The 4 year old, Emily, loved Stormy a lot. When she first arrived at the cemetary, she kept asking where Stormy was. When the pallbearers brought the casket to the site, she asked if Stormy was in there. Her mother said that she was. She had a confused look on her face, but didn't ask anymore questions. We all sang God Be With You Till We Meet Again, and during the song, Emily told her mother that she needed to get Stormy out of the box. When her mother tried to explain that Stormy couldn't come out of the box and that she was gone, Emily began to cry, which of course started us all shedding tears. It was a very bittersweet experience.



At what age does a child understand the concept of death? Or do we ever really grasp the concept? Of course we understand the logistics of it, but since none of us that are alive have ever experienced it, how can any of us REALLY know? They say our days are numbered, that our time will come for everyone. Are we supposed to be scared? Excited? Worried? I am so ambivalent about it. I don't handle death well. It's so surreal to me how you can have had a conversation with someone one day, and the next day they are gone. They still exist, they are still themselves, but you have no way of contacting them. You won't ever see them as they were in this mortal life ever again. It simply blows my mind sometimes.

The flowers we picked for the top of the casket




I have so much more running through my mind, but I will be here forever if I try to sort it all out and type it up. I suppose I shouldn't think SO much about things, and just accept the fact that I won't be able to understand most of it until after I pass through the veil. But if you have thoughts on this kind of stuff, PLEASE share them with me!!!
Although she can't read yet, Emily loved checking out all the markers