Sean Sivertsen: Our Superman

Bagpipes beautifully played Amazing Grace as 8 teary eyed young men carried the mahogony casket to the gravesite through two long lines of saluting police officers. Tears streamed down every cheek as hundreds gathered near to say goodbye to one of the best men this world has EVER known.

Sean Sivertsen was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 20. When most young men are going off to college or serving missions, Sean was beginning an honorable battle with something no one wants to face. In 2004, he met Amy Boulter, a young single mother that took his breath away and instantly stole his heart. They fell in love quickly - seeing in each other something amazing, something very special, something most people will never see in someone else. True love in it's most perfect form. As they dated that first year, people watched with envy as Sean treated Amy with the utmost respect, even through disagreements. They watched as Amy selflessly served Sean during times of illness. And they watched as they fell into a love that only a fraction of the world will ever experience.

In December of 2005, on a beautiful snowy evening on Temple Square, Sean asked Amy to marry him. She didn't hesitate for a second. Afterall, they were the closest thing to soul mates that ever existed. Over the next year, they eagerly planned their wedding. We all looked forward to watching these two amazing people be sealed together in the temple for eternity. They deserved nothing less.

In November of 2006, a month before the wedding, Sean fell ill once again, as more tumors appeared. The doctors and nurses at the Huntsman Cancer Institute worked with what can only be explained as divine intervention. The tumors just seemed to disappear. Three weeks later, Amy and Sean entered the Salt Lake City temple, and were sealed together as a family. It was a ceremony that will never be forgotten. So much love filled that room. The spirit filled it as well, and tears of joy adorned the cheeks of those who were lucky enough to be there. The newly married couple were off to a gorgeous honeymoon in the Caribbean. After that, as a family of three, Sean and Amy took their son Jasen to Disneyland for the first time. The little family was already so close, and spending time together at the most magical place on earth only strengthened that!

In 2007, Sean signed on to start the Police Academy, with the Summit County Department of Corrections. He was to start in November, and nothing made him more excited! He wanted two things in life - to be a father, and a police officer. He had become an exceptional father, and now his dream of becoming a police officer was about to be realized. But he was about to face another battle: more tumors. This time they were on his brain. He needed to have surgery to remove the largest tumor, and would undergo pinpoint radiation treatments for the remaining. The academy would have to be delayed, for who knew how long.

The brain surgery went amazingly well, and the doctors were very pleased with the progress. That afternoon, Sean was up and was literally dancing down the halls of the hospital, with nurses and doctors watching in amazement. Sean had been training so hard, running miles and miles every day and exercising tirelessly to prepare himself for the academy. This, doctors said, had made his body so strong, that he made brain surgery look like a walk in the park. He was released shortly after that, and was able to start the academy at the beginning of 2008.

Sean was one of the most diligent human beings on earth. While undergoing radiation treatments and suffering chronic headaches and pain due to the remaining tumors on his brain, he finished the academy with flying colors in May 2008. At his graduation, he beamed with pride as an honorable officer of the law. His lieutenant couldn't help but express to his family just how proud he was of Sean and how incredible a person he knew he was. Of course no one knew that better than his wife and son.

Near the end of June, Sean's health began to decline rapidly. Tumors started to appear on the spine, and more on his brain. The doctors began a new treatment, one that wasn't guaranteed to work, but had a good possibility. However, when asked if this would ever go away, the attending doctor gave a sobering answer, which had already been known. It wouldn't.

In July, after much thought, prayer, and discussion with Amy, Sean knew he couldn't fight it much longer. The cancer was too strong, and his body, as strong as it was, just wasn't enough to fight. He had already been fighting for 9 years. God was calling him home, and he knew he needed to go. On July 23, 2008 at 1:05 pm, Sean slipped quietly from this mortal life, from the painful body that was holding him here, and returned home to his Father in Heaven. He was surrounded by his loved ones, most importantly his wife, whom he loved with all his heart.

Sean was our superman for SO many reasons. So many that if they were all to be listed here, it would take days to read. He would never let on to anyone just how sick he was, or how much pain he was in. The scars on his head and body were mere symbols of what he had been through and what he was currently facing. Not only did he continue to push himself to be the best he could be, he encouraged others to do the same, without even saying a word. Just being around Sean made someone want to be a better person. From his work with the Special Olympics to his selfless service as a police officer and father, Sean touched thousands of lives in a very short time. Sean never uttered an unkind thing to or about another person. Sean never raised his voice in anger. Sean taught his son special and important life lessons in a loving and spiritual way.

There's no question why God called him home early - there are hundreds of thousands of souls in need of a leader, a strong, amazing spiritual giant, and Sean is that man. That superman, who's powers exceed any one of Clark Kent's. The power of true love, the power of charity, the power of selflessness, the power to withstand the most excruciating mortal pain and bear it like a saint, the power to change his life and others for the better, without even meaning to. Knowing Sean was a blessing. Looking forward to seeing him again someday is a privelage. And his presence in this world is something that can never be replaced. The world is a better place for having him here, and we are better for knowing him.

Sean will NEVER be forgotten. Not by a single person who ever had the honor of knowing him. And he will live on through the memories created during his short time on this earth.

Until we meet again, Superman!

Trying my hand at something new...

My sister Anne has always been a very talented scrapbooker. I, on the other hand, have been quite the opposite. I have made two scrapbooks in my life (if you can even call them scrapbooks) and they have both been pretty terrible.

I'm very good at putting pictures in photo albums, and even writing on the little tabs who or what is in the picture. But I've just never been good at being creative and making cute pages out of pictures. Earlier today Anne called and asked if I would like to come scrapbook with her. I've had a bunch of scrapbooking supplies that my mother-in-law had given me before Scott and I got married. So I figured, I might as well give it a shot, and she said she'd be there to help me out.

Two hours later, I had produced my first official scrapbook pages (that didn't look like a collage made by a 4 year old). I decided that enjoyed it enough to make it a weekly tradition! So here are my pages for your viewing pleasure! I know I have a LOT to work on, and it's obvious I'm a beginner, but I am proud of them for being as inexperienced as I am! The first one is of our wedding invitation, and the second one was of our first dance as husband and wife!

Enjoy!

Our wedding invitation


Our first dance



My sister Anne hard at work!


One of Anne's many scrapbook pages


A very cute page of Anne's from when Jasen was a baby

Overwhelmed and Needing Advice!!

"You can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed??"


So this week I started work in my new office (even though I'm not officially done with training until the 25th). We were told that when we first start, we'll just "shadow" other caseworkers for a couple of months until we kind of get the hang of the job, and then we'll possibly have three or four cases of our own. When I arrived on Tuesday, I was assigned 6 cases!!!

My first task on one of my cases was to attend a very intense court hearing. Shortly after that, I had home visits to go to and all kinds of new situations to experience! I happened to see one of my trainers that first day, and he told me I had the "deer in headlights" look. And I have no doubt that I did.

When I got home on Tuesday, I just cried. I was so stressed out and overwhelmed and scared that I wouldn't be a good caseworker. There is so much I still don't understand, so many policies and laws and even just little tiny things that I don't know, and I do get really scared at times that I'm going to mess up. I hear the horror stories of caseworkers being sent to jail or yelled at by scary judges, etc etc etc, and I just freak out inside (and a little on the outside, too!).

Scottie was simply amazing while I was falling apart at the seams. He comforted me, encouraged me, and reassured me that I could do this. He even did the dishes, cooked dinner and cleaned up the house because he knew that it would cheer me up and relieve some stress. He's such a great husband and I am so lucky!

After yesterday and today I feel a lot better about my abilities and am slightly more confident in this journey I am beginning! Yesterday and today I got to know some of my clients, got more familiar with my cases, and got some time to myself to gather my thoughts and get myself organized. Next week I get a whole day to just organize my office, and get things just the way I want them!!

Which brings me to the actual point of this blog: I need some advice!! I am looking for cute, ergonomic, feng shui-ish ideas for how to decorate my office! I get tired of the same old plant in the corner, picture on the wall and bookshelf full of books no one ever reads. So I am looking for some great ideas for not only decoration, but organization and things that will generate a positive energy flow to decrease stress (because in this line of work, I am REALLY going to need it!)

So please give me any and all ideas you may have for this! I REALLY appreciate it!!!!

It's Still Never Easy

Today I attended a funeral for a close family friend that's been living with my in-laws for the past 2 years. Her name was Stormy. She took the pictures at Scott's and my wedding, and she was a really great person. She was diagnosed with cancer not quite a month ago, and it spread so rapidly that the doctors couldn't keep up. She passed away on Monday, very early in the morning. Although we all sort of knew it was coming, you can never quite prepare yourself for losing someone you care about. The funeral was a small graveside service, and it was very sweet.

Sammy checking out a nearby grave marker


There were two children there ages 1 and 4. They got me really thinking about a lot. The one year old, named Sammy, kept staring and pointing, and we couldn't really ever figure out what he was pointing at, because when we'd look, there wasn't anything there. Then someone said, "I wonder what, or who he is looking at..." That struck a chord with me. It's definitely very likely that he was seeing something or someone that we couldn't see, with the veil being as thick as it is to us. But for someone so young, still so close to Heavenly Father, the veil isn't quite so thick. They say that the spirit world is right here, and I definitely believe that. Everytime he would point, he would smile, and I can't help but think that Stormy was there.



The 4 year old, Emily, loved Stormy a lot. When she first arrived at the cemetary, she kept asking where Stormy was. When the pallbearers brought the casket to the site, she asked if Stormy was in there. Her mother said that she was. She had a confused look on her face, but didn't ask anymore questions. We all sang God Be With You Till We Meet Again, and during the song, Emily told her mother that she needed to get Stormy out of the box. When her mother tried to explain that Stormy couldn't come out of the box and that she was gone, Emily began to cry, which of course started us all shedding tears. It was a very bittersweet experience.



At what age does a child understand the concept of death? Or do we ever really grasp the concept? Of course we understand the logistics of it, but since none of us that are alive have ever experienced it, how can any of us REALLY know? They say our days are numbered, that our time will come for everyone. Are we supposed to be scared? Excited? Worried? I am so ambivalent about it. I don't handle death well. It's so surreal to me how you can have had a conversation with someone one day, and the next day they are gone. They still exist, they are still themselves, but you have no way of contacting them. You won't ever see them as they were in this mortal life ever again. It simply blows my mind sometimes.

The flowers we picked for the top of the casket




I have so much more running through my mind, but I will be here forever if I try to sort it all out and type it up. I suppose I shouldn't think SO much about things, and just accept the fact that I won't be able to understand most of it until after I pass through the veil. But if you have thoughts on this kind of stuff, PLEASE share them with me!!!
Although she can't read yet, Emily loved checking out all the markers