It's Not Goodbye. It's See You Later.

It's been a hard day today.

I woke up this morning at a little after 6. I was wide awake, and not sure why, considering I haven't slept much this week, and I had only been asleep for 3 hours. Scott woke up shortly after I did. And we weren't the only ones.

At 7:30 I got a phone call from my dad. He too had been awake quite early, for some unknown reason. So had my mom and both my sisters, as well as my aunt and a few of my uncles.

At 6:30 am, my Grandma Boulter passed away. My dad had been there with her, in the hospital, holding her hand and feeling her pulse until the very last one. He had been there to comfort her, and she was peaceful as she took her last mortal breath and softly slipped away to the other side of the veil.



My Grandma's birthday party - 4/24/06

My Grandma Boulter was an AMAZING person. She was so very aware of each of her children, of their spouses, of her MANY grandchildren, and her growing group of great-grandchildren. Some of my very first memories of my grandma take place at Christmas, as we'd all gather together at her house and celebrate, exchange presents, sing, eat, and just have a good time. All my cousins would be there, and we'd all show each other what we'd gotten that year. Grandma would always spoil us.

Grandma took me on my very first cruise when I was 12, and it was then that I realized I'd inherited her love for cruisin'! She took my sisters, a few of my cousins and me along with my Grandpa to San Diego, where we boarded the ship that took us to Ensenada, Mexico. It was SO much fun! I tried Escargot for the first time, as well lobster, eel, and swordfish. It's an experience that I couldn't forget, even if I tried.

The next summer, Grandma decided to take my sisters, parents and me to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where we spent a week in the sun, taking in the culture, parasailing, and having an amazing time.

The year after that, she took us all to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We took glass bottom boat rides, shopped in the farmers markets, snorkeled in the ocean, and again, had an amazing time. That next spring, she took me, my mom and dad and grandpa to Kona, Hawaii, where we stayed for a week. We went to the top of the Kiluea Crater (a huge volcano that erupts once every 80 or so years), walked through a lava tunnel, went to an authentic luau, and then toured the island. We also toured Oahu and spent some time on the black sand beach. We also went to a macadamia nut factory, and a pineapple processing plant where they had the most amazing pineapple ice cream!

When I came back from my mission in 2004, my grandma wasn't quite the same. She had lost close to 100 lbs, and looked years older than I remembered her. She wasn't the same bubbly, energetic grandma that I knew, but she was still my grandma. Full of love and sweetness. She and my grandpa came to meet me at the airport, and then took us to lunch after. She told me that while I was gone, she'd gone through some serious surgeries (which I had read about in letters from my parents, but wasn't totally clued in on the seriousness), and that she just hadn't recovered well. For the past 3 1/2 years, her health has slowly declined. It's been hard to see that.

My first Christmas home after the mission

In January, Scott and I helped them moved from their house they'd lived in for years and years into a small condo a few miles away. It was then that I realized things were changing drastically. She gave me one of her Lladros, which are her prized posessions, and I hold it so dear to my heart.

Last week I went over to her house for a short visit. I asked her how she was, and she told me she wasn't doing well. I could see in her aged face the agony that her mortal body was causing her. I saw in her eyes a desire for some sort of release. I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her I loved her. I didn't know that it would be the last time I'd see her in this life.

My dad took a picture of her last night after the doctors had removed all the wires and tubes. They wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. They knew she didn't have long. In the picture she is smiling. Genuinely happy. She knew the sweet release of death was coming very soon, and she could leave this mortal life behind, having accomplished many things - the most important of those being an incredible family. In the picture she looks so small, so fragile, like a little bird just waiting to learn how to fly.

The thing I am most grateful for is my knowledge of what comes after this life. Although the seperation of death isn't easy, it's bearable because of what I know. I know that it isn't goodbye. It's see you later. I know that because we've all been sealed together, that we will all be together after this short mortal existence. I know my grandma is so much happier, she's with her mother, her dear friends, and she isn't in pain anymore.

Although I am not dealing very well with her death, I still know that I will see her again someday.





So I'll see you later, Grandma. Save a place for me where you are.