Oh the Random Ramblings of Alison

Have you ever gotten the feeling that someone just doesn't like you? Have you ever spent hours trying to impress this person, trying to get the to like you and you just CAN NOT succeed no matter how hard you try?

I've always thought of myself as easy to get along with, laid back, chill, personable and friendly. I've had a couple people in my life that I've clashed with, as most people experience (that reminds me of a Seinfield episode...you may know that one - George can't STAND that Jerry's girlfriend doesn't like him, etc etc etc). But I usually dismiss it, because they usually weren't people that made a significant difference in my life.

But what if this person held your future in their hands? And without warning, they could SQUASH you. Like a little bug that feels at home in your living room but is downright annoying and definitely not welcome. And what if this person disliked you more and more with every effort you made?

I know I'm blowing this WAY out of proportion. But there is a person in my life that I am getting this vibe from. And she's quite an important person in my life. I'm not going to go into detail about who she is and why I feel this way, because that's not the issue. The issue is the mere fact that I feel so stupid and totally don't know what to do.

I feel like all I do is annoy this person. I feel like no matter what, every time I talk to her, or see her, or even walk by her - she's annoyed. I've gone out of my way SO much this week - to the point of losing much needed sleep (while battling a cold), and going the extra mile when it wasn't necessary at all just to prove to this person that I am good enough. But why should it have to be that way? Ugh. I just don't get it.

Maybe as I've gotten older I've developed annoying habits or personality traits. Or maybe as I am a professional, I'm judged for my appearance. Or maybe, just MAYBE, I was wrong to ever assume that this person liked me in the first place. The fact remains that I am struggling with it.

Or it could be that she is having something else going on in her life. Which if that's the case, I wish I could understand it and help her out rather than feel shunned. Know what I mean? Gosh I'm such a baby.

Other than this minor issue...*sigh*...things are going quite well in Warnerland.

I've been doing well on my diet, except for a setback today when I had like 44395943 ounces of Dr Pepper. I went almost 2 weeks without it, and today that was all I wanted. But I've been good about only eating half of what I normally would - which has been awesome. I'm going to keep working on the whole eating right part of my life, and then when that's perfected, I'm going to move on to the exercise routine. I'm looking into buying a used exercise bike to put in front of the TV where I will have no excuse not to get on and pedal away whilst I watch CSI.

Financially things have gotten better. EVERYTHING is caught up, which rocks. We can finally start putting some into savings for our house fund. I am SO relieved about that. That 6 months of me working 1 night a week at a sleep lab totally screwed us over. Grrrrr money.

School is going well, and I'm excited to have met some of the awesomely cool people (like my BFF...you know who you are) and I'm SO excited to be going through this program with my sister. It's such an awesome experience to share with her. I'm so lucky to have such a fantastic sister.

I'm also excited that I've made some cool new friends at work. Who'da thought that social workers could be so...social??? With having Fridays off, we've been able to get together for some rockband playin, and game nights and fun stuff like that. This year has been a good one - bringing much needed people into my life!

I feel like I could ramble on forever. I have so much floating around in my lil wee brain, but it is something like 2 am and I really should sleep, so I can get through the last leg of this cold. I hope this was my cold for the season - I usually get only one per winter. If this wasn't it, then heads are gonna roll. For real.

Lastly, I just need to say that I am SO lucky to be married to Scott. He is such an amazing husband. He cooks, he cleans, he does laundry, he gives me massages, he scratches my back every night before I fall asleep, he works super hard - he's been picking up overtime so we can have the extra cash we've been needing. He does all his homework on time and goes to all his classes, he makes me laugh, he tells me I'm beautiful when he doesn't know I need to hear it the most, he keeps me warm at night, and he always keeps his promises.

I don't know where I'd be without him.

ALRIGHTY THEN.

If you read this far, then you're a diligent soul.
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